Saturday, 05 November 2011

  • i feel like a lot has been happening lately, not so much because anything crazy ridiculous has happened, but i guess i feel like i'm relearning to enjoy all the things i used to. i'm having more fun doing the things i used to do, and i feel more comfortable being independent. i'm less afraid to be myself this week, i wonder if the feeling will stick around, and what will change because of it..

Monday, 31 October 2011

  • i'm feeling nostalgic for that feeling you get when you really start getting to know someone. when your conversations move past the usual social barriers, and you start being able to really talk to them. i mean, i have interesting conversations with plenty of people i don't know that well, but there's something special that happens when you can tell someone the weirdest things and know they'll understand. that's real friendship. and then, once you make that bond with someone, a lot of the time, even though it may not be as strong when you two aren't so close anymore, it never fully goes away. because you'll both always remember that there was a time you knew each other so well that there wasn't a point in hiding anything. that's when you get the chance to really be yourself. and i think, that's when life is most interesting. when you can make a real connection with someone that isn't held back by places or times or social boundaries. you're just two people, bonding in your shared but ultimately meaningless existence. but i think that last part is probably just me.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

  • another poem by someone i've never met

    this poem was written by my great uncle when he was my age. he died shortly after, in a car accident in his senior year of high school. i have another poem he wrote here.

    Staring silently in space,

    trying to uncover life within the human race. All the world has gone, it seems,

    and left me among my empty dreams. I needed none, I thought:

    Till now when everyone has gone,

    I find that it's so empty still. I cannot climb the steep and silent hill they climbed. I cannot follow them. I'm alone

    among the fragile brogue baubles that consisted of my home. And no one laughs or calls to me or tells me that it's fantasy

    that I see among the litter of my yard. All I hear is what I always wanted-- silence.

    Silent as a tomb.

    Silent as the voice of doom. God, it sounds as if it's haunted

    and I'm alone among my dream. All that watches is a stark silent sky.

    Soon I will die.

    eerie, isn't it? the more i read, the more i think we might have had a lot in common...

Saturday, 16 April 2011

  • that feeling when the person you most want support from isn't really there, or at least doesn't really realize you need him or her to be.

    it feels kind of like sinking, sinking in to what, i don't know. but there's a certain heaviness to it.

Thursday, 07 April 2011

lovesqualor

  • Visit lovesqualor's Xanga Site
    • Name: lovesqualor
    • Birthday: 2/7/1994
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 4/13/2010
  • so it goes.